pjtheblog

This is really funny and brightened my day.

  1. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…..
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch’em.

3. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the 
offering” and five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of” (Love it!)

6. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if ……
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”

7. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…….
People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling ” washtub.

10. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if………
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

11. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if ……..
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

12. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if……..
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …….
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …….
The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink. “

15. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if…….
“Thou shall not covet” applies to huntin’ dogs, too.

16. You  know You’re in a Redneck Church if …..
The final words of the benediction are, “Y’ all come back now, Ya hear.”

God  Bless and don’t fergit ta say yer prayers!

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Wow Great Statement from Brad Powell in “Change your Church for good. The art of sacred cow tipping.”

“The language we speak isn’t valuable. The truth is valuable. Yet many Christians are valuing and fighting to preserve the culture and language in which they found Christ more than the truth itself. As a direct and predictable result, they consider it compromise to make any attempt to change the language or culture of the church. They see relevance as compromise. But, the reality is that, by valuing language and culture more than the truth itself, they are the ones compromising. They are displaying greater value for their preferred culture, language, and traditions than for the people whom Jesus loves and died to save. In truth, they’re focusing on themselves rather than God, His will, or other people. For the sake of traditions, they are keeping the church from effectively communicating God’s truth to those who so desperately need it. This is compromise.”

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Summer is here, and my thoughts are turning to a sermon series that I preached a few years ago about the fact that during the summer months, a lot of “going” takes place. Not the “Go ye therefore…” kind of “going” we read about in the Bible, but rather the kind of “going” that leads people to places like up north, the lake, the dunes, the amusement park, or even campmeetings and youth camps. The kind of going that used to send shivers down my dad’s spine when I was a kid, because he understood what I only now understand. That traveling with small children is a royal pain. You hear phrases like “Are we there yet”, “how much longer”, “I have to go to the bathroom”, “my tummy doesn’t feel good”, and “Mom….he puked!”

I want you to know that all pastors are officially against this kind of going, because it means that you won’t be at church and we’ll miss you. Our attendance will go down, and there will be some days that are a bit sparse. So at least in an official capacity, all pastors are against this idea of “going”. On a personal level I want you to know that I am for this type of “going” for several reasons.

First, because I have a morbid sense of humor and want you to have to go through all of those car/kid issues that I go through every year.

Second, you might have noticed that I too “Go” for a few weeks each summer, and will continue to do so, because I believe that it is important. “Going” recharges your batteries and helps you to be able to focus better on the work God has for you to do when you return.

Third, I know that as you go, you will be remembering the things that we discuss here at Floyd on Sunday mornings about being a servant, sharing Christ, and living a holy life and that makes you kind of like short term missionaries to those other folks that are busy “going” to the same places you are.

Fourth I know that, as you go, you will attend another church wherever you are or have your own church with your family…you will go without forgetting God.

As I thought about this I realized that, as you go, it will be difficult for you to remember some of the important truths that are most essetial for us as believers to share, so I thought I would remind you of five things that I believe are top priority, as you go this summer.

1. Jesus is the issue! There is nothing more important to share than Christ and his message of good news. He is the beginning and end of all that we do, and all that we are as Christians.
2. People are important! During His time on earth Jesus spent most of His time with the people. He did retreat occasional for renewal and to spend time alone with God, but these times were to prepare him to better serve the people.
3. The Gospel, Keep it Simple! Even though the plan of God to save humanity is profound and complex, it boils down to the God who created everything loving us so much that He was willing to give His Son so that we could have life eternal. There is no need to make it complicated, just live it.
4. The Church Belongs to God! It’s not the pastor’s church, and it’s not the people’s church, it belongs to God. He trusts us to manage it, be encouraged by it, and to use it for kingdom purposes, but ultimately, it belongs to Him
5. Not problems, but progress! If you are standing still then you will never have to overcome an obstacle. Obstacles only come to those who are moving and therefore are a sign of progress.

I know I preached on these topics a few years ago, but it is my hope that this reminder will help you “As You Go…” to “Go” in the Biblical sense, and not just for the fun of it. I do hope that you have some fun along the way, and that you come back refreshed and ready to dig in and do the work of the kingdom with us here at the Floyd Church of God.

You are loved,

PJ

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Tips on how to navigate a marriage—whether you’re an newlywed or an “oldywed.”

Jim Killam | posted 6/08/2010

Just a few days from now, our oldest son, Ben, will marry the love of his life, Becky. I haven’t been asked for much input on the day’s events, which is probably a good thing. I have been told I have no coherent advice on how to plan a wedding. (This after suggesting pant suits for the bridal party, and a wedding cake adorned with cocktail franks.)
I do think, based on 24 years’ experience, that I can offer my son a few bits of advice on how to navigate a marriage. So in no particular order, here goes.

* Praising your wife in front of other people does wonders for her self-esteem.

* If you give a compliment, mean it.

* Criticizing your wife in front of others, even in jest, is always a bad idea. Always.

* Sometimes, she doesn’t want you to solve the problem. She just wants you to listen. I know, I don’t understand it either.

* Don’t fall for that line of garbage that says marriage is a ball and chain. Think about the people who tell you that. They would give anything to have what you have.

* Sometimes, impractical as it seems, it’s better to spend $500 on a trip than $500 on furniture. Provided you have the $500.

* Credit card debt is a monster. Don’t fall for it, even for the short term.

* Don’t keep financial secrets from each other. They do not remain secret.

* Live on less than you make. In fact, learn to live on one income. Swim against the tide.

* Tithe. Not only does it honor God, it also brings focus to the rest of your money decisions.

* Before attempting even the smallest plumbing job, know where the whole-house water shutoff is located. Just sayin’.

* Finding a recreational activity you love doing together will change your life. Especially if it’s cheap or free.

* Laughing together is even better for you than exercising together.

* A cheap, used car gets you to exactly the same places in the same amount of time as a new car does. Except when it breaks down.

* Don’t be so afraid of hurting the other’s feelings that you never really talk about how you feel. It took five years of marriage before I finally told your mom I didn’t like grape jelly, which she’d been putting on my peanut butter sandwiches every day.

* If you’re in a store together, be careful about saying you like an item. You are likely to receive it as a gift.

* Bubble gum is not an advisable electrical fastener.

* Wanting a pet is a lot more fun than owning a pet.

* Don’t be too embarrassed to talk about sex together.

* Praying together every day might be the most intimate thing you can do. Even more than sex.

* Pray together before any big decision and most small ones. The ultimate decision is far less important than the fact you are praying together about it.

* Be stewards, not consumers.

* Moving every few years is a good way to take stock of how much unnecessary stuff you have.

* Observe a no-TV week once in a while. It’ll still be there when you get back … and there still won’t be anything worth watching.

* Find regular times of quietness, both together and alone. Watching a Cubs game doesn’t count.

* Do not attempt exploratory surgery on a broken dishwasher. You can call the appliance repairman now or later. Save years of humiliation. Call him now.

* Hold your career with a light touch. It’s not who you are, it’s only what you do.

* Focus outwardly. Together, you two can impact your community and your world. Don’t settle for simply entertaining yourselves.

* Find a good church and get involved. Don’t just be spectators. Churches have enough of those.

* If you wait until you feel confident and ready to have kids, you will never have kids.

* “Honor your father and mother” applies at all ages. And it’s not just for their sake.

* Talk together, often, about your hopes and dreams. Don’t laugh at hers.

* When you fight, fight fairly and cleanly. No yelling, no escalating, no pouting.

* Approach each day with a thankful heart. It’s a freeing thing to realize that no one owes you anything. First Timothy 6:6 says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”

* Your wife is an amazing gift from God. Treat her that way.

* No marriage is bulletproof. Guard it with everything you have, and entrust it to God.

Jim Killam teaches journalism at Northern Illinois University and is a freelance writer. He and his wife, Lauren, have been married 25 years.

Copyright © 2010 by the author or Christianity Today International/Kyria.com.
Click here for reprint information.

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Jeff Eckman Is curious..if you’re happy about the health care bill, why…and vice versa.1 via Mobile Web · Comment ·

Curtis L. Ferrell We’ve traded our freedom for a false sense of security. We’ve placed the government in the position that only God should hold – Provider, Protecter, Healer. We’ve placed our trust in the most pro-abortion president and the HHS Secretary who, when Governor of Kansas was the most pro-abortion governor in the nation . . . for starters . . .

Matthew Stone I think most people realize that our Health Care System, although being State of the Art, is broken. Being a person that does not have any health care, you are treated quite differently when seeking medical attention. We have noticed this difference as we now pay for insurance for Kristin and the way they treat you and care for you is based on a little card with an insurance companies logo at the top!

I don’t really believe that this health care bill will be the “silver bullet”! As some of the things in it, such as forcing people to purchase insurance or be subject to fines is a bit extreme. However, when I think about the people who work a good job and have a family, yet still have no insurance of any kind and can’t afford it, I feel for them.

A great example of this is that you can be a family of four making around 35K per year and you are at 150% of the federal poverty guideline. That is a $17 per hour job! That is pretty good (for most people). However if you employer doesn’t provide health care for you, you are likely to have to spend around $300-$500 per month in insurance premiums to have “very” basic coverage…. See More

The people I think about are those. Those that are honest, hard working, and good people. Those that might have a child with type 1 diabetes and they are spending $200-$300 dollars per month just for supplies to help their child stay healthy. It is tough to just sit around and see needs without wanting to meet them.

This issue has become way too political and sadly isn’t about the people anymore

Jerry Bailey II Ok. It is not that health CARE is broken. We have some of the best access in the world. The problem is the insurance companies and what they provide as “coverage”. As a provider (physician here) I get paid less and less each year from insurance companies. They raise your rates each year just for using your insurance yet are paying out less and less to providers. Where does the rest go? investors and stock holders pockets along with upper management. We over utilize health care here and run every test imaginable on patients that do not need to be run just because the insurance will cover it. If it does not or you have a large deductible, no worries you can do a payment plan at a whopping 20% interest for the life of the “loan”. Realizing that if you paid in to an insurance plan, you would have easily saved 50% off of what the hospital, physician etc charged you. I have many insurance agents as patients and they would rather pay cash then use their insurance because they know that if they use it their rates increase.

They make the arguments about malpractice claims being a huge cost of health bills. It is not for the most part. Pending where you live and what specialty you are in. For example OB/GYN, not unheard of to be $10,000/month for malpractice coverage ($120,000/yr). Family practice can be $1000/month.

When we listen to the “media”, pending either slant we are listening to, we are engrained in to believing a certain way. If you hear lies enough they tend to become truth. Research the real facts then make a decision, not the word jumbles that are reiterated along party/media lines day in and day out.

We pay enough in taxes across the board from income, medicare/SS, gas, food, import, export, tarriffs, etc that we are close to if not above 60 cents for every dollar. So of course if we are paying that much in tax why would we not want full health coverage. Even the most socialistic society does not may that much and has it for when ever they NEED it.

Curtis L. Ferrell Our hospital president has stated that 1/3 of the cost to hospitals and doctors in New Castle are a direct result of out of control malpractice costs.

Jerrey Bailey II Must be some really bad doctors there. Or some litigation happy attorneys.

Jerry Bailey II And I doubt anyone would still be in business if their payments for malpractice claims were 1/3 of their operating costs.

Erich Eckelbarger With the Dems, there is no uniting, there is only changing the Constitution to make it convienient for them. This is UN-Constitutional and it’s all lies. Health care is not a RIGHT, it is a luxury for those who work hard and can afford to pay for it, just as a car, a home, a bussiness, etc. Nothing more than welfare for the entire nation. I will be… See More working hard in the coming months to make sure every Democrat who voted for this is thown out of office, and to see it’s repeal, if it isn’t struck down by the Supreme Court first. You will not keep your own health insurance, this bill will run all health insurance companies out of business. You will ONLY be able to get the public option. If you choose to not have health insurance, you will be fined, so in other words, the government will force you to buy a product/service you may not want or need, again, that is unconstitutional. The executive order against funding for abortion is also a lie, the language is already in the bill, so the order is nullified, and all an executive order needs to have to be repealed is the stroke of any Presidents pen.

And yes, this country desperately needs Tort reform so doctors don’t have to pay such high premiums.

Shelly Rolley Wontorcik Small businesses that can’t afford to offer health care get fined. Poverty level families that can’t afford health care get fined. It’s a win-win situation for the government collecting the fines. I’m very concerned where this is going to end.

Don Hendrick In a word… UNCONSTITUTIONAL

Nick Rolley im not into politics im into bumper stickers that voice my opinion……. you think health care is expensive now?..wait till its free! …. and Dont tax me Bro! i think its dumb none the less i know im lucky but i also work my butt off and travel alot to have the insurance that i have and now all his bros can have health care and free money because i work my butt off and make too much money so i have to pay alot in taxes just my two cents.

Greg Dana I heard a stat today that the government is now in charge of 48% of the US businesses like GM, Chrysler, AIG and now in they want in on the health industry. Granted something needs to be done about malpractice insurance but, anytime you put the government in charge of anything, all you get is red tape. Just look at Cash for Clunkers.

Jake Wyse As long as Im still able to buy my Bushmaster AR-15 M4 type I really don’t care

Nick Rolley thats the greatest point yet! im with jake

Jake Wyse Im going to stock up on guns and then go off the grid.

Jake Wyse but not in a crazy physco way.

Jeff Eckman Great Stuff….I hate health insurance…for all the reasons previously stated…but I have recently been without it, and that stinks too, because the Dr’s are mandated to charge me the most any insurance company will pay. I think we are in for a bumpy ride…but let’s not forget that we are living this life in preparation for the next. The Gov. can do alot to make our lives complicated, but they can’t take our faith. Only anger and bitterness over what they do can destroy our faith and credibility…let’s not give them that! Jake, if I see you in the woods outside my house, I’m calling Chuck Norris

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PRAISE

Praise
Repentance
Adoration
Intercession
Supplication
Eternal results

ACTS

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

PRAYER

Positive
Reassuring
Action
Yielding
Eternal
Results

PRAY

Praise.
Repent.
Ask.
Yield.

PUSH

Pray
Until
Something
Happens

APE

Always
Pray
Everyday

ASAP

Always
Say
A
Prayer

COPS

Christian
Operated
Prayer
Support

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Here is a link to information regarding the church of God in Chile after the Earthquake…it sounds like there was minimal loss of life.

http://chog.org/News/tabid/57/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/870/Update-on-Church-of-God-believers-in-Chile.aspx

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Found these in a Tweet from Kem Meyer, from Michael Hyatt’s web site…good stuff

1. Arriving late. This ends up wasting everyone’s time. Not only do you miss out, but it often forces the group to start the meeting over just to get you up-to-speed. It also screams, “I’m disorganized. I can’t manage my time.” Is that really the impression you want to create?
2. Taking phone calls. This is probably the most obnoxious behavior. You might as well say, “Excuse me, but I have someone else more important trying to reach me.” At the very least, have the courtesy to quietly excuse yourself and step out of the meeting. And, don’t answer the phone on your way out the door. Try to be as discrete as possible.
3. Checking e-mail. This is similar to taking a phone call. It communicates that you have something more important to do than pay attention to the meeting. Just say, “no.” Leave the laptop in your office unless you need it for a formal presentation. And, please, PLEASE resist the urge to pull your Blackberry or iPhone out every five minutes and check your messages. (Okay, now I am preaching to myself!)
4. Engaging in side conversations. A good meeting only has one conversation going on at a time. A side conversation is, at best, distracting. At worst, it is a challenge to the meeting leader for control of the conversation. Engage in a little self-control. If you need to follow-up with someone, write yourself a note, and do it after the meeting.
5. Not taking notes. If it is not worth taking notes, why are you there? This communicates, “Nothing going on in this meeting is worth remembering or following-up on.” If you haven’t done so, you might want to read a previous post I wrote called “Recovering the Lost Art of Note-Taking.” You’ll be surprised how much more interesting the meeting becomes when you are capturing your thoughts or what others are sharing.
6. Talking too much. There’s nothing worse than the person who feels the need to comment on everything. Or worse, once they get the floor, they won’t give it up. They just keep talking … and talking … and talking. C’mon, give the rest of us a chance!
7. Interrupting others. Okay, you have a great idea. You’re smart. We’ve got it. But can you wait until the person currently talking is done? The worst form of this is the person who randomly changes the subject. When you make a sharp left turn, you can give everyone else in the meeting whiplash.
8. Not coming prepared. Maybe you got away with this in school. But this is real life. People notice. When you are invited to attend a meeting, people expect you to make a contribution. If you don’t contribute, people assume you haven’t done your homework. Maybe that’s why you are getting invited to fewer meetings. Hmmm.>
9. Chasing rabbits. This is one of those behaviors that makes meetings longer than they need to be. You don’t need to respond to every comment with a quip. You don’t have to tell some long, drawn-out story that everyone has already heard before. Stay focused. You can do it! The sooner we get through the agenda, the sooner we can get back to our offices and get some real work done.
10. Not speaking up. Every meeting seems to have them. Deadwood. How can you sit quietly for the whole meeting? Sometimes I want to pull out a mirror, hold it under your nose, and make sure you can fog it! Why do you keep coming to meetings? Worse, why do we keep inviting you? Speak up or bow out.

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For the next few days I will post Acronyms that people use to help them pray since we are talking about “praying in Faith” this week at Floyd

The following Acronym was found in John Piper’s book “When I Don’t Desire God” and he uses it to
help him stay on track through his morning prayers. Maybe you will find it helpful as well.

I—(Incline!)
The first thing my soul needs is an inclination toward God and his Word. Without that, nothing else will happen of any value in my life. I must want to know God and read his Word and draw near to him. Where does that “want to” come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 119:36 teaches us to pray, “Incline
my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” Very simply we ask God to take our hearts, which are more inclined to breakfast and the newspaper, and change that inclination. We are asking that God create desires that are not there.

O—(Open!) Next I need to have the eyes of my heart opened so that when my inclination leads me to the Word, I see what is really there, and not just my own ideas. Who opens the eyes of the heart? God does. So Psalm 119:18 teaches us to pray, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” So many times we read the Bible and see nothing wonderful. Its reading does not produce joy. So what can we do? We can cry to God: “Open the eyes of my heart, O Lord, to see what it says about you as wonderful.”

U—(Unite!) Then I am concerned that my heart is badly fragmented. Parts of it are inclined, and parts of it are not. Parts see wonder, and parts say, “That’s not so wonderful.” What I long for is a united heart where all the parts say a joyful Yes! to what God reveals in his Word. Where does that wholeness and unity come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 86:11 teaches us to pray, “Unite my heart to fear your name” Don’t stumble over the word fear when you were seeking joy. The fear of the Lord is a joyful experience when you renounce all sin. A Thunderstorm can be a trembling joy when know you can’t be destroyed by lightning “O Lord, let your ear be attentive to… the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name” (Neh. 1:11). “His delight shall be in the fear of the LORD” (Isa. 11:3) There fore pray that God would unite your heart to joyfully fear the Lord.

S—(Satisfy!) What I really want from all this engagement with the Word of God and the work of his Spirit in answer to my prayers is for my heart to be satisfied with God and not with the world. Where does that satisfaction come from? It comes from God. So Psalm 90:14 teaches us to pray, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”

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New Living Translation: Beginning to End
Read the Bible from start to finish, from Genesis to Revelation.

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